I look back to when I first found out I was pregnant, I think I had more people give me advice than I had congratulate me. From the beginning, I was immediately faced with "don't do this, but do this," "no, don't do that, just do this, it's way easier for you." It all terrified me. I was overwhelmed with advice I wasn't too sure I was comfortable with taking, but apparently it was the only way to have a good child. Soon enough, I went into labor, and J was here. I wanted to be the perfect parent, so I took everyone's advice, EVERY single piece of advice I had ever gotten. I tried to put him on a schedule, I tried to breastfeed only every so often, I kept him in a bassinet through the night, I did everything I was told to do, and I was exhausted. I expressed my feelings to a good friend of mine who had a one year old at the time. I always loved seeing pictures of her family, they always looked so incredibly happy. While talking to her, I got the one and only piece of advice that I held onto from that day forward, "Don't worry about how other people want you to parent, worry about how your baby wants you to parent, read YOUR baby." That one single piece of advice turned me into the best parent I could be for J. No longer did I care about the "don't let him sleep with you," "he's going to be spoiled if you don't put him down," "he doesn't need to nurse but every so often, and if he is nursing too much, he's not getting enough and you'll have to switch to formula," all I cared about at that point was doing what MY child needed. I became this so called "crunchy" mom. So, now that you know how I became the mom I am today, here is what I've learned from a year of motherhood:
1. ESSENTIAL OILS. They cure everything. It is rare that we use drug medication in our house, but we do use essential oils every day. A few amazing brands are Young Living, Doterra, and Eden's Garden (which is a new favorite of mine). They are 100% natural oils and are completely safe for babies. I was going to type up this long list of all the essential oils we use and what all each one can be used for, but I found a much easier way. Below I have a list of a few essential oils that are wonderful for babies AND they all have a list of drug medications you can use them in place of. Check it out:
2. CLOTH DIAPERS. Before having J, I couldn't imagine wanting to cloth diaper, or even taking it into consideration. Until I really looked into disposables and all the chemicals they use in them. At first I looked into natural, more eco friendly disposable diapers, the ones I decided to try, I didn't like, and they were a little more expensive than what I was used to paying. Finally I gave in, I bought my first set of cloth diapers. I was amazed at the fact that I spent only $60 on 12 diapers and 24 inserts that were going to last until ALL of my children were out of diapers. The day they came in, I was instantly hooked. They were SO cute. On days that I am feeling lazy, all I have to do is throw a matching tee shirt on with his diap, and bam, instant adorable outfit! We started with 12 sunbaby diapers, and now we have around 50 diapers/diaper covers in all, in quite a few different brands, such as; Alva baby, FuzziBuns, Charley Banana, and Blueberries. My diaper stash is one of my biggest obsessions.
3. BREAST PUMP. I say this for quite a few reasons. If it wasn't for pumps, breast feeding would not have lasted for us. When I got pregnant last October (J was 6 months old at the time), my hormones decreased my supply a lot, we made it through by pumping almost every three hours. After my miscarriage, breastfeeding went back to normal. In the beginning of February, J randomly decided he did not want mommy's milk. So, it hit me "I might be pregnant again!" I took a test, and guess what!? I was! After that, me and J fought for days trying to nurse, it wasn't working out. I was ready to give up. It was then that I met some amazing women who were willing to pump and donate breast milk to us during our hard time. At my second midwife appointment with our new pregnancy, we had found out I had miscarried for the second time. After the devastating news, I focused on getting my milk back. I pumped for hours on end, and finally was able to get a little bit out. Still J wasn't latching very well, but we have worked so hard on it, and finally he is latching again. We are still having issues with it, but we're not quite done yet. Yes, you can re-lactate, and yes, it is SO much work, but it is possible and for us, it is worth it. So, rather you are just pumping to make a freezer stash, pumping to increase your supply, pumping to be an amazing person and help a friend by donating, or pumping to re-lactate, an electric pump (like the Medela) is an absolutely wonderful thing to have.
4. BABY CARRIERS. We are baby wearers, little J is my favorite accessory ;). We have a boba 3g and a few wraps. The boba is my favorite, just because it is so easy to put on and it is so comfortable. It is extremely convenient to wear just about anywhere, because it keeps them close and happy, and it keeps you hands free. The boba can be worn on your front (like shown in the picture above) or it can be worn on your back. Now that J is older, he loves being carried on our backs. If you are interested in baby wearing, I would recommend the boba or ergo. Try to avoid the carriers that don't support their legs, they aren't very comfortable for the parents or the baby, plus they're kind of rough on the baby's hips. Just research and find the one that works best for you.
4. BABY LED WEANING. I chose the photo above, because bananas and blueberries are J's favorites. Fruits and veggies are the easiest and best starter foods to give your babies. We decided when J turned 7 months old and started showing interest in food, we were going to start baby led weaning. Baby led weaning is basically where you let the baby learn to feed himself. We started with extremely soft foods cut up into tiny pieces and watching J to make sure he chewed it up completely before swallowing. He did so well with it. We loved doing it because it helped him with sensory and fine motor skills by allowing him to grab tiny pieces and chew it on his own. We started him 5 months ago and now he can eat anything we eat in any size. He has learned how to take bites so we no longer have to cut anything up for him, and now he is learning how to use a fork and spoon.
5. BATH PRODUCTS. When J was a newborn, we used Johnson and Johnson. And just like the diapers, after doing my research, I found out about some chemicals that had been used in their products (apparently they have taken some of the chemicals out now). At that time, I began my search for a more natural, eco friendly company, and I came across California Baby. I absolutely love their bath products, they smell so good and leave my baby feeling so clean and fresh. I used their bath products for several months, until I found an amazing farmer's market in my area that sells natural homemade Amish soap. The only reason I switched is because it is just much easier and cheaper to get, plus all three of us can use it. I do still use California Baby bubble bath and lotion. If you don't have access to natural homemade soap in your area, I would definitely advise using California Baby bath products.
6. SUNSCREEN. I cannot stress enough the importance of sunscreen, especially when you live in Florida and spend almost the entire day outdoors like we do. Goddess Garden is one of the brands we used that we fell in love with. It's an all natural sunscreen that is completely safe for little ones, and it works SO well. My boy has very fair skin and he burns so easily, but since coming across this product, we have had no issues with burning. Goddess Garden sunscreen last a long time, so I don't have to worry about constantly stopping J from playing to rub sunscreen on him. We've also used Babyganics and California Baby sunscreens as well, and are great also, but Goddess Garden is definitely my favorite.
7. Last, but certainly not least, a year of motherhood has taught me how to love and bond with my child. I have an incredible relationship with my son. He is happy and he knows I am always there for him. I couldn't imagine what kind of parent I would be if I took the advice that everyone tried to give me. By this point me and J would probably both be so stressed out with schedules, breaks, and cry it outs. I'm so happy with my love and bond with my child, there is absolutely nothing I would change about the relationship we have right now. My way of parenting my child may not be what's best for your family, so I will give you the best advice that was ever given to me "read YOUR child."
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. If you have any comments or questions, feel free to comment below or send me a message on Facebook or Instagram (links are at the top right of my blog).
